Insecurity. It’s been on my mind these past weeks.
I look around, I look at myself; and in thinking about scribing this post, I’ve had a few earnest reflections.
As a small child my mother tells me I stood at the side of the playground when my best friend was off school, in tears because I thought no one else would want to be my friend.
As a teenager, I queued for my GSCE results, convinced that I would fail every single one, only to get straight As.
In my twenties, I cried about the office bully who was under-minding me in meetings.
In my thirties, I worried about my ability to manage my life becoming a mother and how other parents may judge me for the decisions I’ve made.
At my next birthday, I’ll be 33. In other words, I’ll continue a third decade of lugging around familiar (and new) insecurities. Isn’t that crazy? In order to decant them some-what, I wanted to share 4 things I’ve learned over these decades.
4 Reflections on insecuirty
1. Insecurity can hit you unexpectedly, at any time – like a ninja whipping the side of your head with a wet fish from your blind spot.
You’re happily just grabbing a coffee fix and you glance over to see an old friend of a friend walk through the door – a gorgeous model-type looking fresh-faced, immaculately manicured and in a jaw-droppingly stylish outfit and suddenly- BAM! Your casual relaxed coffee time is rudely interrupted with thoughts of “I look so knackered; I didn’t even manage to iron my top, which if you look closely has a hole in it; my mascara ran out so my face looks crap and I’m six weeks overdue a haircut – I look shit, I feel shit. Life is just shit.”
2. Everyone is insecure about something – It’s not just you. I really mean this.
Take the examples I gave above; the office bully? He was so threatened by the fact that the processes I was working on would uncover his own inefficiencies and lack of intelligence; he did his best to muddle the truth and make me uncomfortable.
I guarantee you, even the people that look like they have it together, are insecure about something.
3. Once we can recognise insecurity – we get power back.
Being able to understand that we have an insecurity is a big deal and according to experts, demands a high level of emotional intelligence. If we don’t recognise it, firstly, we can’t see that it’s the root cause of some behaviours and secondly, it’ll be even more of a struggle to kick that “insecurity-fairy” off our shoulder.
4. Based on the above – we should all be:
a. a bit nicer to each other and ourselves
b. a bit more honest
c. a bit less paranoid
Want more from the lifestyle is calling?
Join our social tribeconnect on Facebook