Finally, at the ripe age of 32, I’ve come to the realisation that caring LESS could be the way forward. After years of what is essentially self (emotional) torture, it’s finally time to put up the white flag and put an end to the mental battle I have volunteered for on a daily basis.
“Yesterday she was nice to me, and today she doesn’t want to talk – what could have I done to upset her?
Why did she say hi to everyone else, but blanked me?
Why didn’t he include me on the invite to that social event?
Will everyone think I’m vain for posting a well photographed picture of myself on social media?
Will he think I was rude because I didn’t hold the door open (even though he was 20 metres away)?
Will so and so think badly of me if I don’t go to that social event (which I have no real desire to go to)?
Will I be out-casted because I’m trying to get ahead in “X” project?
Will she think I’m stingy if I don’t offer to contribute “X” because I’d rather spend my hard-earned money on something else?
I haven’t replied to that WhatsApp group / text / email / mobile call / face time call / email – will they now think I don’t care?”
…I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Does anyone else feel like this?
STOP! Quite frankly, what has this type of worrying given you? Nothing.
Do you see people who piss you off looking concerned when they’ve done something that you’ve found hurtful and do you see that person who doesn’t give a fuck getting held back? Nope.
My new Vow for a happier life
From today, I promise to care less.
For heaven’s sake, I always try to be as honest, polite and kind as I possibly can and would never intentionally upset anyone, so why the hell am I losing sleep over what people think?
Maybe I’ve reached an age of enlightenment?
Maybe I’m just too tired since becoming a mother?
Whatever it is… here’s to using all that depleting head space I’ve spent on worrying, to something, anything, that fosters a healthy mind.
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